Hey everyone,
I haven't been posting much lately. I haven't been doing really much productive lately. You see - we got cable since moving to suburbia - at our old apartment downtown I had cancelled the cable a couple of years ago because I thought it was a waste of money and I felt like I was becoming lazy. Well voila - that is what has happened for the last 3 weeks or month that I have had cable. To be fair - my new position in a new government department is taking some adjustment. I am also now busing to work while before I was biking... so obviously it is more than just the TV. But to be honest - it just feels like everything. My boyfriend was travelling for the last week and I went out with some friends but came home after and watched So you think you can dance for about 3 hours on tv and then watched past seasons on youtube for another 3 hours and then finally went to bed at like 2 or 3 a.m. woke up super late - went to work - looked like shit - felt like shit - ate like shit.... and then went home and did it all over again.
Whoooaaa.
I do not like this. I keep happening to stumble upon articles about unhappy marriages and how it is all going to go to shit in the end. Most of the articles seem to put the blame on the women - like if she hadn't "let herself go" the husband wouldn't have left blah blah blah. Anyways - I know it is all bullshit - it's just depressing sometimes. So I started thinking, omg,.... I'm letting myself go, I'm out of shape, I am going to be unhappy - I am going to be bitter - it is all going to shit. Luckily my boyfriend came home and snapped me out of it. It was kind of like a light switch.
Tonight was great - I ate well - I am on the road to going vegan again. I am still drinking milk and I had some fish recently but no cheese, other meats etc... I'll make some exceptions for summer weddings and stuff. Why? For environmental reasons, health reasons - (the China Study - read it - explained how animal protein causes most cancers) and for general well being (when I don't feel bloated and tired, I feel much happier, surprise surprise).
I also went for a run with the boyfriend. We went jogging and did an 800 m race around the track near our house (he won, boooo). I then got home and did some stretching and drank water- probably the first glass of water in a few days.
Anyways- this is probably all sounding a little melodramatic. You may be thinking: this is your crisis? My family member has cancer.
I agree - but if you are unhappy - then I think it is serious - nobody wants to be unhappy - especially since things can sometimes spiral downwards.
So - I think I am going to stop with the lists- I sort of make lists of things I need to do obsessively - a little OCD probably. I also joined a running group to train for a full marathon. I am going to exercise almost every day. Go to bed on time. And not watch TV. Especially when the boyfriend is travelling. I will only allow myself to read. I have been going for walks at lunch but I'm thinking I might bring runners to work and like power walk at lunch, work it!
Finally - I think I am having a bit of a career crisis. Sometimes it is hard working at a desk in the middle of summer. You ask yourself, is this it? I think the problem is I work in a unit of 1 - but there are great people around me. So I need to become more social - and also keep with volunteering and other things that make me feel like I am doing something productive.
I don't think I can say free yourself since I am feeling a little weighted down by the sad state of this past week. I will get back on my two feet and I hope that next week I will be able to say it with conviction - and get back to some concrete scientific evidence on living a longer, happier and freer existence.
No comments:
Post a Comment